““While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”
Parenting is a blessing full of rewards but is also challenging and can be heart breaking. We go to school and receive an education that does not involve the insights, skills or strategies that equip us to raise happy children.
We want our children to be healthy, vibrant, independent and content. We want them to be grounded, lovable, confident, creative, capable and courageous, socially competent and enjoy meaningful relationships and a sense of accomplishment and belonging. We want them to be centred, connected to their power and strength, loving, compassionate and well-rounded, balanced people of the world. We want to see them flourish and lead a fulfilling life.
What life has taught me is this:
A healthy and vibrant body is a good place to live. When we eat a delicious meal, we feel nourished and content. A warm and comfortable house, makes us feel safe and cosy. Family and people we love and love us back, are our security net. The company of a good friend is precious and nurturing. A rewarding career, a job we like, a good salary, money that enables us to do what we want can make us feel secure and content. Also, an active social life and community service foster a sense of belonging and the feeling we are valuable members of our society.
Nevertheless, even in the presence of all the above, we know that it is possible to feel unhappy, unfulfilled, even depressed. Furthermore, we may have witnessed and there is evidence of people who in the absence of nearly all the above, have managed not only to survive but to rise beyond any challenge and hardship and thrive.
What is it then that makes that fundamental difference?
We all want to feel loved, appreciated, valued, respected, dignified. We need to feel seen and understood. We need to feel we matter, we need to feel significant. We need to feel worthy. And yet, what has the potential to damage it all? Fear of criticism,rejection, failure, disappointment, humiliation, shame. Fear is what makes us compromise and keeps us from doing amazing things.
When we heavily depend on approval, validation, praise, compliments or confirmation from others, to gain and sustain our sense of worth, then we may dread the absence of it, thus fear is installed in our heart. This way we may easily become motivated by someone else's vision, goal, expectations or aspirations, we may follow someone else's dreams, we may chase after someone else's ambitions. And we lose ourselves in the process.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME OUR FEARS?
I think we don't need to get rid of fear. We can make it our ally. We need to be in touch with our inner world, and form a strong inner core which is what enables us to know who we are, what is good for us, what we want and where we are going.
This is what we want our children to have. This is who we want them to be.
I can teach you strategies and help you develop skills that will facilitate you to raise your children to be citizens of a fast developing world. Balanced, grounded and flexible people that will be able to follow the flow of the modern times.